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Need More Recruiter Training

June 24, 2014

Ho Chi Minh has been yelling “Need more FBI training!” at new people in our room.  At one point, I was in his favorite shower stall, and he walked up to the shower curtain and shouted, “Go to FBI to take new shower!”  I’ve been told that I can mimic his voice perfectly when I repeat that line.  Of course, the whole thing is fake, which I know, because I observed him at Walgreens speaking totally normally to the clerk at the checkout counter when the computer wasn’t accepting cards (which made me have to walk out, since the only cash I had with me I was reserving for a far more important purchase).

Similarly, the HR/recruitment profession is fake, as shown by this gentleman’s remarks on a LinkedIn thread:

 

 

  • Fred B.

    Fred

    Fred B.

    Independent Computer Software Professional

    Top Contributor

    My nephew recently graduated from college. His first job — which he has since moved on from because he hated it — was as a ‘recruiter’ matching up job requirements for jobs he didn’t understand with resumes he didn’t understand. And so his function was simply to match up words he didn’t understand on two different sheets of paper. I’m guessing the perps he was working for haven’t heard of Amazon’s ‘Mechanical Turks’ yet, or its HITS based API, or he might have been denied his first job out of college by an afternoons worth of coding. And it was a good college– Wake Forest. He was an example of a ‘gatekeeper’ for the current ‘process.’ But he’s also a smart kid, and he moved on. I think if I remember correctly, a classmate set him up with his father’s business. Not always the best path. 

    There has long been a ‘two tribe’ problem in American business. I’ve observed it many times, in many contexts. Not all, but many. These two tribes do not speak the same language, do not trust each other, and yet, in the context of their mixed firms, rely on each other. One tribe is adept at beast building. The other, mostly at carcass carving. Depending on the firm, investors / shareholders can be served by either, but the game is rigged. Beast building is a risky uphill effort. Carcass carving is a shed risk downhill effort. One is easier than the other…all the way to the bottom of the hill. So are we there yet? 

    Most companies end up dominated by one or the other tribe, and in America, it seems, most companies have come to be dominated by one of these tribes. Not all, but most. That tribe’s dream is to replace their dependence on the other tribe that they neither trust nor understand with extremely low cost overseas technical labor. To the point where there are lawyers cruising the hustings as consultants to teach companies how to beat the ‘no available US labor’ requirement to get their H1B Visa quotas upped. See, they’ve advertised for certain skilled labor, and there just isn’t any to be had in the US. 

    Wink-wink. 

    But in playing this game, they’ve exacerbated their inability to communicate by literally making it three times as difficult to communicate. Or else, being so carcass carving quarterly numbers oriented, their primary dependence on the tribe they don’t trust is to put on a pony show for investors, and there is no point in paying more than global rates to pull that off. They barely know what they are not doing when they attempt this, and there is by design nobody in the room from the other tribe to set them straight. 

    They’ve created a kind of niche industry in cleaning up the resulting mess, at least in those firms that survive the disaster. 

    They’ve also created a non-niche growth industry in fronts for offshoring, as a kind of reaction to this. Charlatans pretending to be development companies, who harvest resumes with bogus job offerings, then present them as indicative of the resources they can provide, who then do no such thing when they land a contract. Clients of these firms who fall for this gambit can recognize that they’ve been had, because their requests to talk directly to the developers are forever put off with excuses(because they are nowhere to be found.) You can recognize these fronts by the ‘send in Word doc format’ pitch. As if. They largely dominate the field, because barrier to entry is a long weekend with nothing else to do. 

    And there is a lot of that going on these days. But this two tribe carcass carving nonsense isn’t new. We live in a nation that tolerates IRS 1706 without a second thought, since the mid 80s. Pure nonsense.

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